A Letter to Felix

June 25, 2009

Dear Felix,

Today, we are celebrating your first year with us!

I can still see your beautiful bluish purple body and scrunched up face, fresh from my womb; The way you squinted at the bright lights of your new world that magical day one year ago. I will never forget your latching onto my breast and spending those first few hours, days, weeks staring at you. Watching you grow has been truly incredible. Your neck got stronger, you rolled, you sat, you crawled. Oh and walking. You started 2 months ago- and all of the sudden you’re such a big boy!

I love laughing with you. Your joyfulness has made my life so much fuller and richer. Watching you inspect each new thing you see has helped me re-evaluate and appreciate so many things around me that I can so easily take for granted, like smelling flowers. You smell flowers slowly, with your mouth wide open.

I love how you sign for milk while you’re nursing. Clap your hands and begin to dance when you hear music. Start to beat any cylindrical form as if it were a drum. How you say “oooooooohhhhh” at particular things that catch your fancy, “ouf” when you hear dogs bark, and “uhhh” when you hear a train passing through town.

I love how much you’ve developed into your own person. How you know what you want to do and which direction you want to go. How you’ve figured out ways to tell us how to get you there, like pointing in the direction you would like me to walk.

Seeing you with family makes me happier than you can know. I feel so fortunate that we are able to live so closely to our families. The way you watch your Pappy, reach for and hug your Nani, laugh and giggle with Grandma, play with Baba and interact with your aunts, uncles and cousins brings me so much joy and makes me feel as though there is nothing more I could want in life.

It is sweet how well you play with Elmer and Turnip too. Turnip follows you around for attention and lets you grab her and pet her like crazy. Elmer will bring you his chicken or stuffed toy. I know he always takes the ball from you, but soon you will get his game of keep away and be fast enough to chase him down.

I love you more than I thought possible. Having you in my life has deepened my love for Papa too. I love watching you together. How happy you are to see him when you wake up in the morning, when he gets home from work, even when he enters a room. How oftentimes he is the only person you want to hold you. I love how you two cuddle, sleep, and be silly together. I love to see you kiss papa, mouth wide-open, eyes closed.

I have so many thoughts and emotions about today. But most of all, I am bursting at the seams with love for you. You have lit up my life and made it something so special, something I never expected. I’m thrilled to think of spending the rest of my years watching you grow and learning from you, with you.

Thank you for being you, Felix.

Love,

Mama

This day last year:

(this wasn’t actually taken today, but close enough for now.)

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2 responses to “A Letter to Felix

  1. Oh Jackie! That was just beautiful! I was reading with tears of joy streaming down my face for you because I can related to all the joy and love you are sharing about.
    Love you guys!
    Janna

  2. how beautiful!!! Our children are our most precious gift ever. Thank you for sharing all the joy that Felix brings you. It brought my attention to all the things I love about my big boy who is 3.

    I also checked out your etsy shop and really dig your designs. I really like the coral shirt. If only I had money…
    Blessings~

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